True to the spirit of “better and betterer” I always find myself circling back to blog posts to improve them. I had danced (a cha-cha…. thanks for asking) about what the E should be: Emotionality/Emotions, or Energy… Emotionality or Energy… I went back and forth. (Hence cha-cha.) But now I want the E to be Energy and Emotions to fall under Stance.
As with everything on this site, blog posts are for entertainment purposes only — I am not a therapist. I am a certified coach, instructor, and facilitator. A lot of tools I use in coaching/etc (personal and professional development) are also used in therapy. If you have a mental health issue, trauma history, etc, or suspect that you might, please try these tools out with a trained medical professional.
——–BE WHAT‘s v1——–
Hey there! There’s a video I made to help people in our Victorious Me! workshop remember a sh*t ton of stuff we covered in a more simplified way. I am realizing that it can stand on its own. You can watch it below. It will make sense even though we don’t run that workshop anymore.
There’s a meme out there:
And everyone raises their hand to choose VICTOR. But what we have to realize is, that VICTOR is a high-level choice. It’s STRATEGIC. There’s a quote I love:
“Strategy without execution is hallucination.” – Mike Roach
We have to make sure that all of our micro-moves, thoughts, and linguistic constructs are aligned with VICTOR. It’s not all-or-nothing… You can be aligned in one area and suck a little in another. There are a lot of little things to look over and make sure they are aligned. I simplified this into “BE WHAT’s.”
- Beliefs – I call this “Uncovering the unknown, and the kind-sorta-maybe known.” Byron Katie wrote: “A belief is a thought that we’ve been attaching to, often for years.” We are aware of some of our beliefs. Other beliefs are not on our conscious radar but come to the surface as a trailhead. So let’s say you are not getting what you say you want. Well, then either some part of you doesn’t actually want that, or you have a belief that is counter to what you say you want. Havening Touch® can help because you are working with your amygdala directly. Specifically, the Creating Possibilities Protocol® can help you try on a new energy, belief about yourself, etc and see if it feels good to your amygdala as you work through the protocol. I mean, I can say I believe I’m a crested owl from Peru and write myself little love note to this effect, but if the rest of my body is like “WTF? Nope! You silly!” then it’s not really a belief is it?
Other things that have helped me was to try on a smaller belief, or to ask myself what % did I believe this new belief… but really, if you check out the science behind Havening* and their amazing (often 1 session) results, you won’t want to mess around with anything else. (You can try Havening by checking out these great videos on Dr. Kate Truitt’s Youtube. She also presented at Echo and explained the science and the protocol.)
*These videos talk about the science of trauma encoding. In addition to trauma encoding there is a similar encoding called stress-induced structural plasticity (SISP), and Havening works for SISP. Havening also helps build the resilience and the feelings, beliefs, etc that we want to have/experience.
There’s something called the illusion of truth. If we hear something over and over, we believe it. It gets stored in our implicit memory and we don’t even know that it was planted there. Yikes. The Preparatory Set accounts for this (see The Flash Mob Under the Hood) as part of the larger model.
You might enjoy this post, which covers assumed constraints / limiting beliefs.
- Emotions – Thanks to the field of Positive Psychology we know we need to outshine negative emotions with positive ones… The rule of thumb is 3 positives for every 1 negative. I often say neuro-positive because it has to be an authentic positivity trigger. Lucky for us, our brains are really good at focusing on what we tell it to focus on. And when we achieve the victorious ratio, guess what? Health benefits galore and better access to the more intellectual, creative, and socially connected parts of our brains! WoOOt! So you can think of E in BE WHAT‘s as Emotions.
For emotional activation in the moment try Self Havening, specifically CPR for the Amygdala®. IFS Parts Work also helps here. For resilience, try the Self Havening Creating Possibilities® Protocol. I am also a fan of EFT tapping.
- Words – What we say… are these words coming from a place of fear / scarcity / lack? Or are we using words that come from a place of love / abundance / productivity? I <3 how Shaman Durek says that our words are a magic wand. Every time we open our mouths we are casting a blessing or a curse. Watch those words! Let’s all spread blessings and amplify love. (And what you tell yourself matters too!)
A not-entirely-obvious way we can also amplify love is to use our words to advocate for ourselves and others.
- Habits – According to author Charles Duhigg, we spend about 40% of our time looping through habits (without being aware of this)! It may behoove us to bring some conscious attention to our habits. Our brains were trying to help us out by setting up these loops. Let’s make sure our habits are truly in line with what’s best for us. (Sometimes that trailhead we follow leads us to a habit.)
- Actions – So… whatya doing? Are your actions actually aligned with your nifty mindset? Your objectives? Your purpose? Mission?
- Thoughts – Mono-mind is not really the deal. We have multiplicity of mind and the thoughts we hear in our heads demonstrate this quite nicely. Ever have an argument with yourself in your head? Those are parts my friend. Rather than beating up your thoughts and smashing them down, get to know your parts. Check out No Bad Parts by Richard Schwartz, PhD. Self Havening (Havening Touch) and IFS will help you go deeper into the lower brain so that you can get to inner harmony.
- [Not in the video below] Stance – emotional, cognitive, physical/somatic… I didn’t mention it in the video, but I love this word: STANCE. This is an easy check in. I like to call it Take a SEC — see what is going on somatically, emotionally, and cognitively. See The Flash Mob Under the Hood.
Without further a-do, here’s the video:
Check this out:
Check out Dr. Joe Dispenza’s Fan Page
Again, according to Charles Duhigg, we spend 40% of our time in habit loops. Is anyone else thinking that maybe this is why life is literally passing us by? We are in computer-program mode for 40% of the time (habits) + who knows what other additional percents considering “memorized” behaviors, attitudes, beliefs, and perceptions.
—- BE WHAT’S v2 and v3—-
In v2 (2019) I moved Emotions under a new letter: S
S then became Stance (somatic, emotional, cognitive)
E became energy.
Jon Gordon writes that positive energy includes “optimism, trust, enthusiasm, love, purpose, joy, passion and spirit to live, work and perform at a higher level.” Dr. Joe Dispenza talks about our energy as an electromagnetic signal that we give off. Perhaps this is related to the heart’s energy, as according to Psychology Today, heart waves can reach about three feet outside of the physical body and can be detected in another person sitting nearby (via an electrocardiogram). The Heart Math Institute has many studies involving the heart’s magnetic field, showing that it’s energy can travel beyond the aforementioned 3 feet. Dr. Wayne Dyer often spoke of low energy and high energy, and said that “people who are living in Spirit give off a higher energy that can bring light to our hearts and minds. In other words, we can be inspired just by being in their presence,” just like light can spread in a darkened room… Or as my Nana used to say: “Jessi, you bring your sunshine with you.”
v3, in 2022 now incorporates a spiritual perspective: the energy check can be as simple as: love-aligned or no? Is ___ aligned with the frequency of love and light? Yes? Awesome. How can I amplify love more. No? Ok, how to I bring this back into the frequency of love and light.
The science of intention is also based on energy with interesting results — foods that were “blessed” (good intentions infused into them), teas, and water given to plants (double-blind) showed that the “blessed versions led to whatever the loving intention was — in a statistically significant way.
It won’t be too hard for you to Google and find that real Reiki practitioners healed more patients than fake ones… which is why I find things like Quantum Healing so fascinating. This was all beyond my belief zone for many years, but post-materialism, one embraced, really explains why this works/ can work. Why we now have verified mediums, verified Near Death Experiences, shared crossing experiences, reincarnation accounts, etc.
This is what the new (betterer), v2 model looks like:
I’ll have to make an updated graphic for v3. 😉